Building confidence

Written by
Changeboard Team

01 Feb 2015

01 Feb 2015 • by Changeboard Team

The fear factor

It takes focus and planned effort but it is something we can all enjoy. Having suffered from panic attacks and low self-esteem ten years ago I knew only too well what life is like when ambitions require you to step up the game. I remember distinctly the time I was delivering a seminar in Manchester and suddenly a sudden rush of fear embraced my mind. I felt dizzy, sick and faint. I haven’t a clue how I got through it but somehow I did.

Accept that past is past

It is fair to say that the past can affect a perfectly good future. Holding on to past events that knocked your confidence is of course understandable, but it can only serve purpose if we learn from it and move on. Try writing down what you learnt and how you now accept it is time to move forward, head held high. If you tend to be a visual person then visualise the past event evaporating and if you keep hearing your inner voice tell you that you can’t let go then be firm with yourself; set a date and time that you will release it, where it will be gone for good.

Wave goodbye to perfection

Perfection can be what poisons confidence. If you are one of those people who has to get it right first time otherwise seeing yourself as a failure, it really is important to address it. Strangely we tend to do things much better when we accept we will do our best and that’s all we can do. Wave goodbye to perfection by reminding yourself daily that you are fallible and that is just fine.

Chill out

Reducing anxiety and increasing a relaxed state will immediately increase your confidence to tackle new goals. Anxiety is what blocks our state of natural confidence and by utilising techniques to make you feel more chilled will reduce the stressed state. Each of us is different so consider what will work for you. Typical strategies may include:-

1. Learning self hypnosis from a qualified practitioner
2. Meditation, yoga, and other complementary approaches to relaxation
3. Increasing exercise and developing a better diet
4. Taking time out alone in the form of a mini break
5. Finding a confidential source to talk things over

Play mind games - increase your self-belief

We can learn so much when it comes to increasing self-belief from those in the world of sport. Ask a professional sports person what is important in being successful and they will tell you it is both the physical and mental state. Embedding self-belief is a process that can actually be easier than you think. Each day take yourself into a relaxed state and affirm over and over again that you are confident and at ease with yourself.

Then see, hear, and feel yourself being confident in a number of situations. Also, reflect back to times you were confident and imagine taking that resource into future events. A good confidence coach will facilitate this process for you as it is at the heart of confidence and self-esteem.

Get your image spot on

If you are looking in the mirror and not liking what you see then invest some time and effort into getting the physical you spot on. There are three checks to be made namely body, style and grooming. Simply put, if you look good, you will feel good and if you feel good you will feel confident. If style and grooming isn’t your thing then talk to someone whose it is. Style advisors are there to help and what’s more it can be fun.

Stretch your confidence

While it's important to learn to learn to relax and carry out mind games to increase self-belief it is also imperative to expose yourself to situations that stretch your confidence. This is similar to when treating someone presenting with phobia. The client needs to face the phobia as well as think about managing it more appropriately. Start by exposing yourself to situations that give you a slight “ouch” factor.

Then very gradually increase the extremity of the situations to stretch your confidence. All in all this will reinforce your confidence and the achievement will make you feel proud. If you are in doubt of what will work best then check with an experienced confidence coach before embarking on this strategy.

Play copy cat

Seeking out people that inspire you and in effect wearing their clothes from time to time is an incredible tool in the box to increase confidence. Think who you respect, who in your eyes oozes confidence, and observe carefully what and how they do it. What do they think? What do they do? List down the answers to these questions and then imagine you doing the same. When faced with a challenging situation imagine how they would approach it. In effect become them and you at the same time.

About Steve Miller

For further information and to make contact with Steve Miller visit He has supported thousands of professionals including senior business executives, hr professionals, celebrities and even vets!